Once Upon An Asshole

On Memorial Day Monday when everyone was enjoying a nice BBQ or a stroll in the park I was sitting on a park bench fuming! Hubby and I were in central park walking with Parker when the little dude got hungry, so we found a nice little private area and sat down to feed him. Now it’s been super hot and muggy in NYC so instead of fully covering him, I just made sure the sun was not on his face. While feeding him, again in a relatively secluded area, a woman (the use of “woman” is a little loosely used here) walks by and literally glances over for a second and goes “Ugh, gross” while sticking her tongue out in an “I am going to puke” manner. I was so shocked I could barely react. My hubby came to my defense pretty fast as she had to stop a few feet away to pick up her dogs' poop to which he replied “Ugh, gross, picking up shit!” High five to husband! Then we spent the whole walk back thinking of comebacks, cause that’s what we do, right? Re-live moments like this in our heads a million times over to think “I should have/could have/would have said this.”

Nursing Baby

Nursing Baby

So here I am motivated to write a post on this! Now, I typically cover up, not because I think its gross and when I do see an uncovered woman I am actually super proud of her. But I’m sorry, when its hot get over it. Secondly, keep walking woman! You don’t HAVE To share your thoughts or feedback on what I am doing. 

So, here are some of the comments I wish I had thought of. Yes, some of them are harsh, but hey, I was PISSED! 

1.    Too bad I don’t have a cover for your (*bitch ** optional) face (my husband)
2.    Thank goodness you have a neck. Look away! LOOK AWAY! (scarymommy.com)
3.    If you are fishing for a snack, just wait your turn. (scarymommy.com)
4.    “Sorry, I don’t have enough to go around. If you’re hungry, you’ll have to go somewhere else.” (babble.com)
5.    “You think this is awkward? Wait ’til my husband gets hungry.” (Babble.com)
6.    “Your face offends me but I don’t ask you to cover it up while I eat.” (babble.com)
7.    "You feel free to put a blanket over your head if it makes you feel better."(nursingfreedom.org)
8.    "I see you don't feel comfortable with my nursing. Freud would say that's because subconsciously, you find me incredibly sexy. It's possible you're thinking about my breasts because you are still stuck in the oral stage. Have you considered a good therapist?" (popsugar.com)
9.    "Oh you should see what it looks like after he/she nurses. The poop comes out in sprays. Like a damn water fountain." (Popsugar.com)
10.    "Do you often look this closely at women's breasts?" (ifbreastfeedingoffendsyou.blogspot.com)

Happy Public Breastfeeding,